Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
