Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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