well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I need to calm my uterus...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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