I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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