wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
