i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
