In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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