No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
