i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
