you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
