I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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