So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
