I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
