I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
