I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
