there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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