We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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