Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
