just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
