The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
