I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Duck Duck Cougar?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Blood and glitter go together right?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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