It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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