I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
