I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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