Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
