just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
