My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
