Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
