The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
