He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
