At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
