i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
