Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
