Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
