a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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