She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
