They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
