Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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