i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
