i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
