too bad you live with your parents still
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
