Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Boobs are out for the taking
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
