Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
