dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
