i jhust puked up my retainher.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
