i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
