I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
