hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
