so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
