ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
