ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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