I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
