haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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